C:\\World\Crap\Kristina.exe (opaloctober) wrote in dead_among_us,
C:\\World\Crap\Kristina.exe
opaloctober
dead_among_us

Yikes...

For the past couple of months, i've been living my life in fear. It is not rational fear, either...i'm not afraid that someone is going to kill me or anything...noone living, that is. I'm afraid of ghosts/spirits. And i'm terrified of the dark. I'm almost 25 years old. I'm afraid of dead people, afraid of seeing spirits/ghosts (which I do sometimes)...i'm afraid of anything paranormal at all. Yet I have a morbid curiosity about these things...about death, dying, and what happens here on Earth after we die...what really goes on in funeral homes?? What happens to the body after we die? I know this is such a morbid thing to think about...it's just,...I can't help it...sometimes I imagine what my husband might look like in a morgue...I know, that's some sort of sick, right??? I lay awake at night waiting for a spirit/ghost to invade my bedroom...even when my husband is right beside me sleeping. The only thing that gives me comfort is knowing that most of the time, i'm not alone, except for when Mark goes to work all day. I have no idea where this fear started, but I do know the death of Selena Quintanilla and Michael Jackson didn't help any...there are even pictures of them after death online...and I know it's terrible to think about, but I couldn't help but look...i'm still having nightmares about this stuff...it's ridiculous. I've told my psychiatrist, but he kinda dismisses me about the entire thing...weird...how do I get rid of this? Part of my thinks that if I satisfy my morbid curiosity, then it will go away--or give me nightmares and I won't sleep or be alone for the rest of my life...what would you do?
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